Nerves

Tonight I will see my ex bff for the first time in months. R and I had been friends since my junior year high school and her sophomore year. We were inseperable and we could share anything with each other, she was even a bridesmaid in my wedding. When I first started Daniel she didn’t care for him and he didn’t care for her. I think she was jealous, because we had went from hanging out together all the time to rarely seeing one another (something I regret). He thought of her as high maintenance and stuck up.

Once Daniel and I moved in together they became to tolerate one another and R came around a little more. One night during the football playoffs two years ago, R and Daniel’s friend, J was over to our house. R asked me about J..who he was, how we knew him, etc. J asked the same about R. J had just gotten out of a very serious five year relationship. J and R ended up exchanging numbers and started dating. We didn’t set J and R up, they just happened to meet at our house.

Everything is great with them for a few months. I forget what happened, but they ended up breaking up the weekend before my bachelorette party. For my bachelorette party we went out to a club in Ocean City, Maryland and had a great time. R ended up meeting a guy from New York and exchanging numbers with him.. R needed a date for our wedding so she invited NY guy. NY guy came to our wedding, but sat alone at the table the whole time, because R was with J. I thought that was a little rude, considering the guy had driven over three hours to come to the wedding.

R and J got back together after our wedding and again things went great for awhile. Well, one night I get a phone call from another friend, E. She asked if R and J were still together I told her yes.. she said “Well then why was he all over (his ex) at a party last night.” I said “I don’t know..” I debated and debated and decided if I was in that situation I would want someone to tell me.. E wouldn’t lie about that so I called R and told her. Of course J denied it and R stopped talking to me, because she thought I wanted to break those two up. A few months later I get a phone call from R she caught J cheating and wasn’t with him anymore. That only lasted a few weeks and they were back together.

Ever since then R and I haven’t talked. She ended up breaking up with J last summer. I told to J at a wedding not long ago and he said he missed R and that he realized he messed up by doing what he did. He said he wanted to be married and have kids within the next few years and the only person he could see doing that with is R. R at the time was seeing someone else, but I guess things didn’t work out with that person and she is back with J.

J and Daniel are still friends and I still say hi to J whenever I see him. Tonight is J’s 30th Birthday Party. Daniel and I are going and I know R is going to be there. I’m nervous to see her, but I would like to talk to her. I miss her and I miss hanging out with her. She knows things about me no one else does. She has the dorky sense of humor I have and we could always find something fun to do.. One of the best New Years Eve’s I ever had was when R and I were 19 or 20. We had both broken up with our boyfriends before the holidays. She came over to my place for New Years. We made a good dinner and we stayed up playing Monopoly and somehow we ended up playing board games for hours. We didn’t need alcohol or a man to have a fun time! I miss R and hopefully tonight I will be able to talk to her again.